Chris Rock introduces Metallica at Bonnaroo (1:40).
Metallica destroys my brains (the rest of the clip)
Chris Rock introduces Metallica at Bonnaroo (1:40).
Metallica destroys my brains (the rest of the clip)
2008 BONNAROO APOLOGIES:
I would like to officially apologize to all the people I wronged at Bonnaroo:
1) The old man working the corndog stand with the trippy puppet. I should not have slapped the puppet. But you should not have asked if the puppet could rub aloe on my sunburn.
2) The passed-out couple under the shady tree. I am the one who painted a wizard scene on your underparts. You will find it in several days when you shower next.
3) Willie Nelson. You were right. Cops don’t laugh when I say, ‘Hey Willie Nelson just called you a bunch of pussies.”
4) The good folks at the medical tent. My mistake. The concert was NOT being attacked by rats with lasers for teeth.
5) Kanye. I hid some poop on your tour bus because I got mad you went on so late. It’s behind the mini fridge.
Today is the last day I will have blonde hair for the rest of my life.
Fuck you blonde people. I am not one of you.
(not directed at you mom. or my nephew jared. or the naked lady on the internet)
Dear Shonda,
This is hard to say. We tried so hard. But I can’t do this anymore. It’s just not working. I know I made you do some weird stuff. And you were always game. But dammit. I need to be with someone who really gets me. And I don’t think you do. You’re a special lady. And there’s probably someone out there for you. But it ain’t me. Now get out of here before I burn the house down again.
I just found out what I’m supposed to be doing with my life.
I’M GONNA BE THE NEXT MOTHERFUCKING JET PACK PILOT!! (click)
(I’m already qualified because I’m not afraid of becoming ‘an international celebrity’)