Rob Huebel
I GIVE YOU THE SAT'S
Each sentence below has one or two blanks, each blank indicating that something has been omitted. Beneath the sentence are five words or sets of words labeled A through E. Choose the word or set of words that, when inserted in the sentence, best fits the meaning of the sentence as a whole.
Hoping to ———- the dispute, negotiators proposed a compromise that they felt would be ———- to both labor and management.
(A) enforce . . useful (B) end . . divisive (C) overcome . . unattractive (D) extend . . satisfactory (E) resolve . . acceptable
I GIVE YOU THE SAT'S
A special lottery is to be held to select the student who will live in the only deluxe room in a dormitory. There are 100 seniors, 150 juniors, and 200 sophomores who applied. Each senior’s name is placed in the lottery 3 times; each junior’s name, 2 times; and each sophomore’s name, 1 time. What is the probability that a senior’s name will be chosen? (A)
(B)
(C)
(D)
(E)
NOTE TO THE TSA:
Often when I travel, I wear my TG400 Penis extender underneath my clothes. This is not a weapon. I am making my dong bigger. But it is impossible to remove discreetly. Please be cool about this when I go through the metal detector. I promise I’m not going to blow up the plane with it.
My brother was robbed at gunpoint a couple nights ago. This asshole asked for his money, so he gave him all $7 in his wallet. Then the thug wanted his car keys. My brother decided to jump him and went for the gun. Not what you are supposed to do. He tackled him and the dude squeezed off two shots. Somehow my brother wasn’t hit. He wrestled the gun away and the dude ran off without his shoes and his hat that said, “millionaire”. Now my brother wears that hat.
Tim Huebel…a badass motherfucker.
Mylady:
Remembering us together upon your steed, Damian. You were so lovely. I was a fool. My heart aches for you now. My remarks were in jest. And without sensitivity. Of course I laughed at Damian’s horsecock. I am an idiot. Please take me back. Let us ride again!

